It Feels Appropriate to Write This

 

I have about a million and one things on my to do list… Somehow instead of effort toward any of those, in this moment, it feels appropriate to write this.

My favorite question… Why? Why does it feel appropriate to do this? What is this?

Perhaps this leads to that… Writing this, leads to doing that… It’s hard to tell sometimes. Hard to see through all the clutter.

What is this? Writing… Why? I’ve always liked writing, as long as I can remember, it seems like a lost art these days. If you take a moment to review something written in ages past you might see what I mean.

Full would be the single word I would venture to describe the experience.

It, writing, helps seeing through a little easier… a full, calm exploration into the clutter. What is it? Each piece, each representation. It’s there, it has meaning… in that it represents something. It is made up of relevant parts.

Somehow knowing the parts gives me a clarity in knowing what action to take. It soothes me. Soothes me from what? That’s an interesting question. The short answer; I see fire.

That answer reminds me of something my mother used to say when I was a child crying. Quite calmly she would ask… “Why are you crying?” After one or two queries from a passionately loving mother, with no response from her weeping child… she would sometimes say, “If you don’t tell me why your crying i’m going to smack you… at least then i’ll know why your crying and won’t feel so bad.”

Forgive me mom if you read this and your feelings are hurt with my remark. I can see how they might. Believe me that everything about you, makes me who I am. Consider your regard for that, and please again forgive my apparent arrogance for using it as a measure, how much you care for me.

It’s just that you’ve shown your regard so many countless times that it is obvious… that it is beyond question. That seems a fair mark to measure by. Your wisdom, courage and compassion are named well, captivating.

And so, with my mothers loving query in mind… why? Why am I crying?

I wish I could have told my mother so many years ago why. It always seems after asking a lot of questions… to be the same reason.

I see fire.

That can’t be the end can it? The answer to any given question. Not with any use… not without a clear vision of the next action to attend. Not until the answer is obvious to everyone.

And when it is, then perhaps we will all shed tears still. Maybe tears of joy though… in celebration of our accomplishments enjoyed by all. Maybe tears of sweat born of the toil of our attended action. Perhaps tears of recognition that our effort was spent well… with regard for each, with attentive care.

It is sometimes difficult to see, much like when I was a child, it seemed impossible to explain to my mother why her child was crying. Perhaps thats why I write this. Because writing helps me see through all the clutter, it helps me see the parts. Somehow seeing the parts sooths me.

Here we are again… Sooths me from what. Still an interesting question.

I see fire, and it’s obvious to me that it is not obvious to everyone, and so…  it feels appropriate to write this.  It seems appropriate to share it.

 

Oh misty eye of the Mountain below
Keep careful watch of my brothers’ souls
And should the sky be filled with fire and smoke
Keep watching over Durin’s sons

If this is to end in fire, then we shall all burn together
Watch the flames climb higher, into the night
Calling out father… oh… stand by and we will
Watch the flames burn auburn on the mountainside

And if we should die tonight
We should all die together
Raise a glass of wine for the last time
Calling out father oh…prepare as we will
Watch the flames burn auburn on the mountainside
Desolation comes upon the sky

Now I see fire
Inside the mountain
I see fire, burning the trees
I see fire, hollowing souls
I see fire, blood in the breeze

And I hope that you’ll remember me

Oh should my people fall then surely I’ll do the same
Confined in mountain halls we got too close to the flame
Calling out father oh…hold fast and we will
Watch the flames burn auburn on the mountainside
Desolation comes upon the sky

Now I see fire
Inside the mountain
I see fire, burning the trees
I see fire, hollowing souls
I see fire, blood in the breeze

And I hope that you’ll remember me

And if the night is burning I will cover my eyes
For if the dark returns then my brothers will die
And as the sky is falling down it crashed into this lonely town.
And with that shadow ‘pon the ground I hear my people screaming out.

I see fire, inside the mountain
I see fire, burning the trees
I see fire, hollowing souls
I see fire, blood in the breeze
I see fire, …. oh you know I saw a city burning… fire
I see fire, …. feel the heat upon my skin… fire

And I see fire burn auburn on the mountainside

Thank you Ed, thank you Peter, it’s obvious to me that it is obvious to you.  It soothes me to know that someone else is seeing what I am.  It helps make it more clear the next action to attend.

Comments

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  2. Brian Saffran says:

    Unfortunately, this is the time of Fire. Or maybe it it fortunate? Maybe what come after the fire will be a forest twice a beautiful as the one burned to the ground?
    I see fire too… it is sad to some, but beautiful to others… Something new must come from the destruction of something old… it is the way of things.
    Could it be Magick if I were to show you the flames can not burn me? I would show you how the flames could not burn you too… if you should CHOOSE to learn…
    Do not fear the Fire… it is as natural as the Rain… it is as natural as the Wind…
    Death is not something to be feared, or lamented over. It is no more a sorrow then the sunny day.
    If it is ‘The End,’ it is also ‘The Beginning.’
    Fear not the Fire, for it can not destroy EVERYTHING.
    Fear not the Fire, for it brings about new beginnings.
    Fear not the Fire, for it restores what can not be repaired.
    Respect the Fire, for it has not a will of it’s own.
    Respect the Fire, for it cares not where it travels.
    Respect the Fire, for it cares not who it burns.
    But NEVER FEAR THE FIRE, for it is as much a part of you as the heart in your chest.

  3. Charlie H says:

    Just as writing seems to have an aptitude for communicating ideas, music seems to have an aptitude for communicating emotions. So, I feel the use of both was rather appropriate. 😉

    -Charlie H

  4. Gracie Sharma says:

    beautiful message.. thank you ray!

  5. Victoria says:

    To write to not drown in one’s own thoughts…that have been a very present feeling for me lately,to see clearer just by writing the thoughts down.

    ”I see fire, and it’s obvious to me that it is not obvious to everyone” this sentence stood out so much for me, thank you for writing that ,all this 🙂

    and no it’s not the end ; after all what is any end but another beginning ? 😉

  6. fred says:

    flawless-ness. thanks for the insight, and inspiration as well. nice words of appreciation for your mom.

    ~infinite Love always

  7. Jordan says:

    Don’t worry, “I see Fire” is not the end. There’s a whole ‘nother hobbit movie right around the corner!

    • Sarah says:

      Haha, I could feel The Hobbit vibes too… Desolation of Smaug included, though I have yet to see it. Ray, you are so beautiful, and your wisdom is deep. We all feel the flames licking ever closer, these faceless and unnamed blazes. To name them would not change their path, we must only unite our defenses. I look forward to continuing this path alongside you and your (our? Everyone’s?) brethren. Thank you for your courage enough to write/speak up for your concerns, which are vastly shared. I lurk. I will learn to write more. Thank you.

Trackbacks

  1. […] Till eftertexterna spelades en låt som jag direkt började nynna med. Så läste jag av slump Ray Kamilles blogg imorse, där han avslutar ett jätte vackert inlägg med att länka den låten. ”I see fire” med Ed Sheeran. Här är en länk om du skulle känna dig manad att läsa det.  […]

  2. […] leads me to my next point. In the theme of learning from each other, Last night Ray published a blog for the first time in several months and completely updated his website. (he’s really excited […]

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